141010 - Reflexões.

Eu preciso das pessoas mais do que elas precisam de mim.
Preciso aprender a não precisar delas.

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"I know you feel lonely, but you're not alone."

How do I feel? I don't know.
Most of the time I've been feeling lonely and alone.
You guys don't need me anymore. Probably because I don't need you either...
Is it some kind of freedom? Is it good? Is it bad? Is it sad?
What does friendship mean to me now? Nothing? Something? Everything?
What I told them wasn't true?
Every second that passes I feel more like an outsider...
I am not really different. But I am different.
No man can heal these scars. For now. Someday... who knows...
No friend can change this. Only I can.
I'm the only one I have. I'm the only one I should trust.
The problem is: I can betray myself, I can ruin myself.
Living isn't easy. But I just can't give up... Maybe someday this storm will end.
Life is hard. Sometimes it's fun... now it's not fun.
Most of the time I've been feeling like I'm a loser. I don't want to be.
Friends bring me up and down. I don't know if they're the best I can have.
Really, I don't know. Maybe I should give up on them. Let them be. Let them go.
Somehow it could set me free.
Lately I've been spending so much time by myself that I got used to this...
loneliness...
It's not painful to be like this as it was before.
I don't have to make people laugh, I don't have to talk, I don't have to pretend, I don't have to be careful.
Loneliness is not bad.
But the best is solitude. Being with myself, thinking. I love it...
Who knows...


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